Do you have Cinderella syndrome the expectation that Prince Charming will ride up and rescue you?

If you do, there's a whole bunch of female finance professionals out there telling you to get real. Even if a man does show up on a white horse, he might not be able to save your finances especially if you're doing your utmost to dig yourself into a debt hole.

And would you want him to have to?

Besides, it would mean relinquishing control. Are you really prepared for that?

Why all the pressure?

At the risk of being a downer, these days women are much more likely to be single for long periods, either because they choose not to marry, get divorced or their partner dies. The average is more than a decade.

Plus even when with a man author and financial coach Joan Baker says women face three huge obstacles to wealth: biology, earnings and time.

"Women commonly lose several years of working life giving birth to and taking care of their children. This obviously has a big effect on earnings," Baker says in her book Smart Women Smart Money: Live The Life You Want.

But so too does the gender gap. Research by the Equal Opportunities Commission in Victoria found that women typically earn 13 per cent less than men for the same job. See the box inset for how to increase your salary.

Time-wise, Baker says: "Women live longer . . . and [therefore] need more wealth to take us through our old age in comfort and security."

Frighteningly, more than half of Australia's women don't think they'll have enough in super and investments to meet their income expectations in retirement, research by the BT Financial Group says.

Yet separate research by the HESTA industry super fund found that 64 per cent of women as opposed to only 48 per cent of men felt they didn't know enough to choose their own super fund.

It's clearly time women take steps to ensure their financial future is secure no matter what happens to their relationship.

Are you in economic strife?

Baker says you should begin by making a net worth statement that shows all your assets minus all your liabilities.

Then, if you are part of a couple that shares money, consider how this would change if for some reason you found yourself single. Net worth of $100,000 a couple would become only $50,000 if you unexpectedly found yourself alone.

Next calculate your own total annual income not just from salary but also from any bank accounts, shares or investment properties.

"Women who have no income of their own are very vulnerable even if they are living very well at present," Baker says.

Then take out a pen and paper and honestly assess your money habits. Where does it all go?

If you find luxuries (cigarettes, chocolate, eating out, manicures, flowers . . .) are consuming the money that could make you financially independent, cut back where you can. You might also be able to reduce expenses you consider fixed, such as phone and food bills.

"Budget is a word that strikes fear in the heart of the strongest woman, but it is only a plan. And it's your plan for your money," Baker says.

How you can take control

What you are trying to do here is create excess income that you can use to become financially independent. If you spend less than you earn, you can invest the rest. The problem is that it's just so easy to spend all of your income (and more), which is why you need to "pay yourself first".

Something of a personal finance buzz phrase, this really works. By scheduling a direct debit for as soon as you get paid for whatever amount you can spare however big or small you are removing the opportunity to go shopping instead.

Put the money into a high-interest savings account or stockmarket investment (individual shares or managed funds).

Better still, arrange a salary sacrifice into super you get more because the money goes in pretax, and there's no possibility of raiding it in a weak moment.

If it helps you to commit to a long-term savings plan, think about it as a fund for future spending.

It will probably also be easier to deny yourself now if you have a clear idea of exactly what it is you will buy later, says Vivienne James, author of The Women's Money Book. For example, a new car or an annual overseas trip. If it helps stay focused on these goals, James says to put up a picture of the possible car or trip.

Attack your debts too. Knock them off one by one high interest to low interest. And, in the meantime, make sure your partner has enough life and income protection insurance to cover these obligations.

The fewer financial commitments you have if something untoward happens to your relationship, the better.

Oh, and learn how to program the DVD or video to time record.

Why wealthy women hold the purse strings

· Don't want to be dependent:76.4 per cent.

· Work hard to make the money:61.2 per cent.

· Always have: 29.7 per cent.

· Think they can do a better job than spouse: 26.5 per cent.

· Were encouraged to do so:14.8 per cent.

· Became widowed or divorced: 13.3 per cent.

· Were taught to manage money from childhood: 7.3 per cent.

Interestingly, women who marry into or inherit money are more likely to want to manage it than self-made women (87.8 per cent as opposed to 69.2 per cent).

Source: A study of 743 women with more than $US3 million in investable assets, published in Women Of Wealth, by Russ Alan Prince and Hannah Shaw Grove.

Up your income

Overworked and underpaid? Then you'll find attaining financial independence much harder. Unless, of course, you can change your situation. Author Joan Baker suggests the following five steps:

1 Get paid what you're worth research how salaries are determined in your office, what similar positions pay elsewhere and what your male colleagues earn; if your salary doesn't measure up, present your case for closing the gap to your boss.

2 Ask for a raise gather all the evidence of the valuable contribution you make and approach the company for recognition of that contribution.

3 Get a new job this is the easiest way to get a pay rise.

4 Make yourself more valuable take every opportunity to learn more and ask for training. Be enthusiastic and flexible about new tasks.

5 Invest in yourself. Forking out for additional external qualifications could yield big dividends.